i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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