He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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