He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
