The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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