she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
