it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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