yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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