I wanna passion pit in your ass
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So much rum. So many feels.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize