No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
