my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
