my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
