I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
