I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
