What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize