Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
