i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
