it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
