This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
