I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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