Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize