Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
