I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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