I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
