shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
