just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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