everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
