I hate your face
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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