Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
