Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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