Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
