big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
