all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
