I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
