ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
