As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
