Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
