i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
