I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
