Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
