To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
