Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
