Who did Billy Mays play for?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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