Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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