you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
