I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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