I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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