What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
