she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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