Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
