Porn is love you can see.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
