On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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