turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
