just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
