Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
