i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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