the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
